Overall thoughts on the book:
I would fully recommend reading or listening to this book because it was written to raise awareness about abusive schools in England.
This book is a memoir written by Charles Spencer about his boarding school days at Maidwell Hall (before he went to Eton). The concept of this book didn’t seem very interesting at first. The only reason I listened to it was because it was read by the author and I’m a sucker for a memoir read by the author.
I enjoyed this memoir so much. First of all, as an American, I didn’t know anything of Princess Diana’s family or childhood so I didn’t fully realize that this was her brother’s book at first. It is, this is her younger brother.
More details on the book and lots of spoilers:
At the beginning of the book Charles mentions that he understands that he was raised in a very privileged world and that there are people that are far worse off, but he feels obligated to tell his story to bring awareness so that others won’t go through the same trauma.
I wasn’t expecting to like this book much. I’m not a big fan of stories about the aristocracy in England. Obviously I have respect for Diana, but I don’t care much about the English upper class. That being said, this is one of the few memoirs written by famous people that was written for a purpose.
I was afraid that Charles would just tell me about his life and his sister and drama, which is fine, but wasn’t what I wanted. That is not at all what this book is about. This book is a serious telling of a system of child abuse that parents were complicit in for decades. I hope that it isn’t still happening. I don’t understand why so many adults go into childcare and education just so that they can abuse children. It makes no sense, but it seems so pervasive.
Charles Spencer was raised in an upper class family in England. He had connections to the Queen, I forget how. And he says that “the done thing” was for upper class Englishpeople to send their children away at around age 8. Charles claims that essentially abandoning your children at 8 years old is in itself abuse. Many parents didn’t think of it that way though because they themselves had been sent away and because everyone else that they knew was sending their children away. It was “the done thing”. Doing abusive things because it is what everyone else is doing is still abuse.
Abandonment was the first abuse, but the next, on the part of the parents, was not believing their children when the children were terrified at the thought of returning to Maidwell, and presumably other similar children’s boarding schools.
TW (this paragraph): The most horrifying abuse occurred at the schools, where the children were subjected to bloody abuse. They were caned so bad that the fabric of their underwear mixed with strips of skin. They were encouraged to beat on each other. They were beaten with metal soccer cleats. They were spanked while the headmaster fondled their private parts. Not to mention all the emotional manipulation and abuse. I don’t understand how any school would be able to get away with the horrible things that this school did for so long.
Charles says that he went back to Maidwell as a journalist about a decade after he left and it seemed slightly better, as the previous headmaster had left. But it is impossible to know what goes on behind closed doors.
This book should really be a lesson in listening to your children. When they tell you something is wrong, believe them. Fortunately, some parents did believe their children and removed them from the school, but there are countless children who went through what Charles Spencer went through. I’m appalled.
Final thoughts:
Spencer discusses how he feels as though he can’t complain too much because he is rich, and while I would usually agree with that sentiment, hearing stories of children who were beaten so aggressively that they still have scars 40 years later, makes me sensitive to the plight of these particular upper class children.
I enjoyed the book. It was a hard read at some points. We need to listen to and protect children more. They know when things are wrong. I would recommend this book.
Bayous and Books 